Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
A Five Year Old Me Picks His Top Five Movies
This handsome young 5-year-old lad is named Derek, I have picked him out from the far-flung past of 1990.
“Wow, I have cool glasses in the future! Is it the Jetson’s yet?”
Give it a few years, 5-year-old Derek.
“Do I have a pet robot?”
No, but we all have phones in our pockets.
“Radical, dude!”
So, I have brought you here to talk about your five favorite movies of all time. Are you okay with that?
“Will you help me spell stuff?”
Of course.
The Top Five Movies of All Time
By Derek Domike (Age 5)
5. The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh (Lounsbery and Reitherman, 1977)
“Pooh is a silly old bear. I love this part where Rabbit is redecorating his hole and he…” laughing “…he puts sticks on Pooh’s butt like antlers! And he draws a face on it and everything! How silly is that?!”
4. Batman (Hefti, 1966)
“Batman doesn’t let the bad guys get away with anything. He helps out people in trouble even though he doesn’t have superpowers or anything. And he’s friends with Robin. In this one Batman and Robin have to fight The Joker, The Penguin, The Riddler, and Catwoman. In one part Catwoman disguises herself as a reporter and Batman can’t tell its her. And there’s this submarine shaped like a penguin. And the Batcopter, and the Batboat, and the Bat-Motorcycle. It’s pretty much the best movie ever, except for the other movies here.”
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Barron, 1990)
“Donatello’s my favorite. He does machines. Also, he likes pizza.”
2. Gremlins 2: The New Batch (Dante, 1990)
“I like the one who talks funny. He says ‘Ah the apple, the city so nice they named it twice. Check it out von time von’t you.’ And there’s all kinds of monster gremlins, like one made out of vegetables (scary,) and one that are bats or spiders or made of electricity. They’re scary, but Gizmo’s nice.”
1. The Adventures of Milo and Otis (Hata, 1986)
“I have watched this movie over 100 times I bet. My favorite part is when they’re on the farm and having a good time. It gets kind of scary after that, though. This might not be for little little kids, like my brothers.”
“They don’t like it very much.”
“Is that good, old Derek?”
I’m not that old.
“Yes you are.”
Okay, maybe I am.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Top 11 11 Word Movie Reviews
I write the 11 Word Movie Reviews blog; speaks for itself.
With 100 posts written daily since I first started, I wanted to cap off this event with my 11 favorite reviews I’ve done so far. A lot of them are historic firsts, at least in terms of that blog.
11. September 1st, 2008
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (Kidron, 1995)
This one speaks for itself. I don’t know why I decided to use this cult drag movie as my first review, other than the self-contained fact of John Leguizamo’s ability to work it. I immediately followed with reviews of Gremlins 2 (one of my favorite movies) and Disturbia (closer to the “least favorite” end of the spectrum.)
10. September 14th, 2008
Norbit (Robbins, 2007)
I saw Norbit for a dollar and still wanted my money back. This is my first “Alternate” review.
9.September 5th and September 6th, 2008
Flintstones (Levant,1994) and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas! (Levant, 2000)
My first multi-part review, referencing a previous review.
8.October 7th, 2008
Batman (Burton, 1988)
Arguably the review I’ve had the hardest time with getting in 11 words, but I am very pleased with the results.
7.October 28th, 2008
Air Force One (Petersen 1997)
My first link to a youtube video in a post. And it’s true. He wants you off his plane.
6.November 16th, 2008
The Pacifier (Shankman, 2005)
If only for the Suburban Commando reference.
5.October 13th, 2008
Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace (Lucas, 1999)
My first link to a Son of Double Feature article, my Bizarro-review of Episode I.
4. November 15th, 2008
Willow (Howard, 1988)
Mixes both alternative reviews, a variation of Morbo, and also, an awesome movie.
3.October 5th, 2008
Austin Powers in Goldmember (Roach 2002)
Take that, John Travolta.
2.September 27th, 2008
Juno (Reitman, 2007)
My feelings for Juno are well documented. But also the first appearance of my favorite reoccurring device: the frame of Morbo of Futurama, yelling whatever I can’t. Thanks Morbo, for screaming when I can’t.
1.December 8th, 2008
Planet of the Apes (Schafnerr, 1968)
My 100th post in the blog, and, actually, my favorite. Are the best yet to come, or have I jumped the proverbial shark?
YOU ARE DOING FINE, DEREK!
Thank you Morbo.
I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Morbo means he loves you.
I love you too, Morbo.
With 100 posts written daily since I first started, I wanted to cap off this event with my 11 favorite reviews I’ve done so far. A lot of them are historic firsts, at least in terms of that blog.
11. September 1st, 2008
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (Kidron, 1995)
This one speaks for itself. I don’t know why I decided to use this cult drag movie as my first review, other than the self-contained fact of John Leguizamo’s ability to work it. I immediately followed with reviews of Gremlins 2 (one of my favorite movies) and Disturbia (closer to the “least favorite” end of the spectrum.)
10. September 14th, 2008
Norbit (Robbins, 2007)
I saw Norbit for a dollar and still wanted my money back. This is my first “Alternate” review.
9.September 5th and September 6th, 2008
Flintstones (Levant,1994) and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas! (Levant, 2000)
My first multi-part review, referencing a previous review.
8.October 7th, 2008
Batman (Burton, 1988)
Arguably the review I’ve had the hardest time with getting in 11 words, but I am very pleased with the results.
7.October 28th, 2008
Air Force One (Petersen 1997)
My first link to a youtube video in a post. And it’s true. He wants you off his plane.
6.November 16th, 2008
The Pacifier (Shankman, 2005)
If only for the Suburban Commando reference.
5.October 13th, 2008
Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace (Lucas, 1999)
My first link to a Son of Double Feature article, my Bizarro-review of Episode I.
4. November 15th, 2008
Willow (Howard, 1988)
Mixes both alternative reviews, a variation of Morbo, and also, an awesome movie.
3.October 5th, 2008
Austin Powers in Goldmember (Roach 2002)
Take that, John Travolta.
2.September 27th, 2008
Juno (Reitman, 2007)
My feelings for Juno are well documented. But also the first appearance of my favorite reoccurring device: the frame of Morbo of Futurama, yelling whatever I can’t. Thanks Morbo, for screaming when I can’t.
1.December 8th, 2008
Planet of the Apes (Schafnerr, 1968)
My 100th post in the blog, and, actually, my favorite. Are the best yet to come, or have I jumped the proverbial shark?
YOU ARE DOING FINE, DEREK!
Thank you Morbo.
I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Morbo means he loves you.
I love you too, Morbo.
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